Why Understanding Your Health Habits Is the Key to Change
Struggling to break unhealthy habits like late-night snacking or overworking yourself to burnout?
If you’re exhausted, perhaps you don’t need a “healthier” way to stay awake. Perhaps you just need to sleep.
If you’re constantly working because you only feel valuable when you’re productive, perhaps the answer isn’t just finding a more relaxing evening routine. Perhaps there’s a deeper belief about your worth that needs your attention.
If you’re eating to soothe yourself, perhaps the answer isn’t finding a different food to eat. Perhaps you need to understand what you’re trying to soothe.
Change the Pattern, Not Just the Behaviour
This is also where neuroplasticity matters. As neuroscientist Norman Doidge describes, our brains are capable of rewiring themselves throughout life—meaning we can build new, healthier patterns with practice and intention. So lasting change isn’t about simply suppressing an old behaviour through willpower; it involves practising something new.
That new pattern might be a different response to stress, a different evening routine, a different way of resting, a different relationship with achievement; or simply giving yourself permission to meet a need before your usual coping behaviour takes over.
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s understanding the pattern well enough to start changing it. And that starts with curiosity, not judgment.
Not: “Why can’t I control myself?”
But: “What is happening here? What am I actually needing? And what would it look like to meet that need in a way that supports the life I want to live?”
Because sometimes the behaviour isn’t asking to be replaced. It’s asking you to pay attention to the life you’re living. And that is often where the real work of health behaviour change begins.
If you’re struggling with a health habit that you can’t seem to change, this is the kind of work I do with clients through the Strong & Fit Method: looking beyond the behaviour itself to understand the patterns, needs, and circumstances that keep it in place, and then building changes that are realistic enough to last.
References
Charles Duhigg (2012). The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Random House. https://charlesduhigg.com/the-power-of-habit/
Wood, W., & Rünger, D. (2016). Psychology of Habit. Annual Review of Psychology, 67, 289-314. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-122414-033417
National Institute on Aging. Adopting Healthy Habits: What Do We Know About the Science of Behavior Change? https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/adopting-healthy-habits-what-do-we-know-about-science-behavior-change
Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science. https://normandoidge.com/?page_id=1259
Harvard Medical School. Neuroplasticity: Rewiring the brain. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/neuroplasticity-rewiring-the-brain
Fogg, B.J. (2020). Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. https://www.tinyhabits.com/book/
Amabile, T. M., & Kramer, S. J. (2011). The Power of Small Wins. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2011/05/the-power-of-small-wins
Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind. https://self-compassion.org/the-book/
Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley. How Curiosity Enhances Learning and Well-Being. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_curiosity_enhances_learning_and_well_being
American Psychological Association. Understanding addiction: How the brain becomes hooked on habits. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/06/cover-addiction
When it comes to improving our health, most of us quickly focus on what we need to eliminate.
Eat less sugar.
Drink less wine.
Watch less TV.
Work fewer hours.
Stop snacking at night.
Go to bed earlier.
And if you’ve ever tried to simply stop doing something you know isn’t serving you, you probably also know how difficult that can be. Not because you lack discipline. And not necessarily because you don’t want to change.
Sometimes, it’s because we’re focused on the behaviour without understanding what it’s actually doing for us.
The Reinforcement Loop (and Why Change Is So Hard)
Our brains strengthen patterns that are repeatedly reinforced. Research on habit formation (like that by Charles Duhigg and psychologist Wendy Wood) shows that if a behaviour consistently gives us something we value: comfort, distraction, energy, relief, achievement, connection, or even just a few moments to ourselves, our brains have a reason to keep returning to it.
That doesn’t mean the behaviour is good for us; it just means it serves a function. And this is where behaviour change gets interesting.
Because if you remove the behaviour without addressing what it was providing, you may take away the solution without ever touching the real problem.
Take Late-Night Chocolate
You might think the problem is the three pieces of chocolate you just ate. So the obvious solution is: Stop eating chocolate at night.
But let’s look a little closer.
Maybe you’re exhausted. You’ve been going all day, and your body is asking for energy so you can stay up for a few more hours. Maybe you’re watching a show. Reading a book. Scrolling your phone. Whatever it is, it’s the one part of the day that feels truly yours (this feeling will probably be stronger if you have small kids). So you eat the chocolate. You get some calories, a little more energy, and you stay up for another hour.
Now ask yourself:
Is the problem really the chocolate? Or is the chocolate part of a much bigger pattern?
If you simply remove the chocolate, you’ve removed the behaviour. You could replace the chocolate with fruit for a healthy sugar. But you haven’t necessarily addressed the reason you were staying awake in the first place.
Maybe what you actually need is rest.
Or perhaps the more interesting question is: Why does going to bed feel like giving up the only time I have for myself?
Because the answer might not be another snack. It might be sleep. Or it might be finding a way to create some time for yourself before you’re completely exhausted.
The behaviour is just the most visible part of the problem.
The Same Pattern with Overworking
Consider someone who regularly works late, checks emails on weekends, or finds it almost impossible to switch off.
The obvious health advice is: Work less.
But what happens if work isn’t just about work?
Most of us find a strong sense of value through achievement. Maybe being needed makes you feel important. Maybe productivity gives you a sense of control, or work and providing for your family gives you validation. Or maybe being busy is a way of avoiding something that feels uncomfortable when everything gets quiet.
There isn’t necessarily just one answer.
And that’s exactly why telling yourself to “just work less” may not be enough. If you take away the hours without understanding what those hours are providing, the underlying need hasn’t disappeared.
Why Just Replacing Behaviours Isn’t Always Enough
This is why I don’t think sustainable behaviour change is about fighting yourself into submission. It’s about becoming curious enough to understand your own patterns. What is the behaviour really doing for you?
Instead of asking: “How do I stop doing this?”
Try asking:
“What is this behaviour giving me?”
“When do I tend to do it?”
“What am I feeling just before I do it?”
“What do I get from it in the moment?”
The answer might be comfort, escape, energy, pleasure, accomplishment, connection, control… or simply a moment that finally feels quiet and peaceful.
Once you understand that, you can start experimenting with something different.
What if you stopped fighting the behaviour — and started understanding it?
If you're stuck in a health habit you can't seem to change, let's look beyond the behaviour and understand what's really keeping the pattern in place.
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Email: michelle@michellecartin.com